Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Traffic Report

Two things that I've always wanted to avoid on Kingdom Eyes:

1: Posts with pictures of the sandwhich I ate for lunch.
2: Posts which simply contain a teen-girl emotional vomit.

I've always made it a point to not use this website as an opportunity to bore you with every fluctuation in feelings that I have. I've seen too many young people reduce the potential of the blogosphere to an online diary - Princess Diary style. But at the same time, I believe that there is an appropriate time for everything. And in this case, I feel it necessary to inform you a little of what's going on with my life.

To put it simply: I've never really been through anything like I've been going through in the past few months. In my first two years of college, I flew by my classes. I didn't study that much, and I got great grades. And then *POW!* - here comes nursing school. In a word: I've never done any school-work this difficult. I'm not even sure if I've ever done anything so difficult in any area. It's as if every part of me is being stretched, and every part of every day is filled with thinking about the next test, the next evaluation, the next assignment. This is coupled with the fact that I have gone much closer than I'd like to not passing some tests - a worry that led me to wonder if I could even pass my current classes.

However, this newly required work-load has put a strain on pretty much every other area of my life: family, friendships, and sleep. The most notable of these strains is my walk with God. I've tried so hard to stay involved with the ministries that I'm involved with. I know that God has big plans, and I want to be a part of it.

But probably the most detrimental thing that this new lifestyle has done is take away my time with the Lord. And by that, I mean a daily time of spending some time with God alone, allowing myself to be wrapped in His presence. I don't see how someone could grow in their walk with God without this time, and I've definitely seen the negative effects in my life: sin has become more vicious, my strength against temptation has grown weaker. I've fallen many times, and I am trying to ask Christ for the strength to claw my way out of my sinful ways and murder this beast called the flesh.

And by His grace alone, He has begun to show me how to use a shotgun.

One of the effects of the way my life is going now is that I've had much difficulty being regularly active here on Kingdom Eyes, with many posts ending up being a few days late. This is compounded with the fact that I continually fail at meeting the standards of holiness that God has set up for me. I do not take this lightly, and I desire that everything which I write on this website comes out of God's inspiration and redemption. That I might not write something that is the contradiction of the way I live. That means taking time and wrestling with God on everything I write. Even this post has been a struggle both mentally and spiritually.

So what does this all mean?

Well, for starters, a friend once told me about something called Walking Pneumonia: essentially, this means living with a crippling sickness and trying to function normally at the same time. Basically, it doesn't work. I need some bedrest. Now, this doesn't mean that I won't be posting every week, but that I'll be postponing the RMP's for a while, until I can get somewhat more of a grasp on life right now. And if I'm late on a post once in a while, I pray that you'd understand.

Whenever I listen to my local Christian radio station in the morning, there's always a traffic report. In that report, if there was a major accident, they'll ask the listeners to pray for the people involved. Yes and amen. But usually, my prayers for those people involved are not as urgent as if it that situation were to happen to my own friend. So, I ask you, if you are a friend of mine, pray fervently for me right now. I believe in a God who inhabits the praises of His people and responds to the prayers of the righteous.

So please. Pray.


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