Sunday, August 28, 2011

A Confession

I recently (today) wrote a spoken word piece dealing with some of the stuff that I've noticed in my life. If you don't know what spoken word is, it's basically a very free-formed version of poetry. Here's an example.

The main thrust behind this poem was basically me seeing all of this sin in my life that I keep returning to like a dog to its vomit. I've just been getting sick of who I am in the flesh and tired of all of the things that weigh me down in my relationship with Christ.

I've been realizing a lot about the heavy deep-rooted sin that a lot of us have. A lot of it deals with insecurity and stuff from our past (before Christ) but God's been showing me that we can live above deep-rooted sin. (2 Cor. 7:1, Gal. 2:20) Hear me out now, I never said that we can be sin-less, but we should be able to walk in a position that allows us to be free from the full weight of it dragging us down in pursuing God. (Romans 8:5)

Some of the verses that I quoted in this piece are John 8:36, Luke 4:18, and John 8:58.
I have a confession to make...

I've been having an affair lately, but no one seems to care lately. I tell them the story and wait for their morals and platitudes, but I just get attitudes of hurrying and scurrying to the next less-worrying subject. So I begin to wonder if I should just be burying the matter 'cuz it's not that big of a deal?

But it has to be!

I'm cheating on the One I love, and I do my best to keep it a secret or rationalize it out in my mind and I find that most of the time, I'll accept that lie and just keep telling myself, "Ehhh, you'll be fine."

But my Spirit is standing on the edge of a cliff telling my mind and my heart to jump, or else.

Or else?

Or else you'll destroy your relationship with the Only One Who Matters, and as a matter of fact, this is a matter of life and death, if you could only see how much it truly matters. 'Cuz you see, it's not just the looking around to "check out what's on the menu," but it's a deep heart issue that has its capillaries reaching into every muscle, ligament, and bone controlling the organ of this being.

But I fear I might be misleading you by making you think that I'm the only one with this problem. 'Cuz you see, we are a world of whores, taking every opportunity to sleep with everything we see.



'Cuz this cheating isn't happening with my girlfriend, but with the Perfect Friend. Not with my life partner but with my Eternal Partner. Not with my significant other, but with my Heavenly Father.

And I'm not cheating with multiple women, but with multiple vices and clamps that hold me fast to this world. Pride taints my worship and jealousy poisons my prayers. Resentment finds an opening in my soul while doubt follows close behind, making sure to lock the door behind him. They are followed closely by greed and people-pleasing who arm the gateway with their standard-issue machine guns and grenades, making sure that only their fellow soldiers can enter in.

And all the while...

The father looks down with tears in His eyes as He cries, waiting for His child to finally realize that he has set the captives free, and that He who the Son has set free is free indeed.

So I'm not a slave to the fortress around my heart, but I make everything a slave to Christ, who made me an ambassador for His ministry of making things right by His Son. So I can go out and tell all prostitutes of living that there is a God-man who covered that sin with a seal of blood, signing the contract that says it's been covered with an overwhelming "I AM."

So my confession is now a turnaround:
Amazing Grace.
How sweet the sound.
I once was lost.
But now I'm found.


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