God's Economy

One of my most vivid early memories was of me asking my mom how much it cost to go to college. I'm not really sure what she responded, (so much for vivid) but I believe she said something along the lines of about ten grand. Now, as a small boy who thought getting 20 bucks for being polite (that's a story for another time) was a payoff of Kardashian status, this number was massive. Monolithic. Ginormous, if you will.

So, I started saving. Here we have a less-than-ten little boy trying to save ten G's. From that time up until when I actually started going to college, I always made sure that I was trying to accumulate the appropriate cash for those years. To this day, I don't believe I've ever met any other small boy that looks that much into the future. A ten year old with a five-year plan. Go figure. Evidently, I valued college. Mucho.

When I took an economics class in high school, I learned the fundamental principle that something's value is determined by what someone was willing to pay for it. For me, I valued an education enough to start collecting loose couch change and polite-cash (once again, some other time) in anticipation for it. 

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. (Matthew 10)

Well, there's the understatement of the ages. It appears that even God loves hyperbole. God values us more than "many sparrows." Well, they'd have to be a lot of sparrows, 'cuz God loved us enough to send His Son to die on a bloody tree. If you ask me, though, I'm not too sure I would have done what He did. I don't know that a humanity which constantly rejects and pains its Creator is one that has enough value for me to pay for.

But thank God I'm not God.

You see, in God's economy, He loves us with a love that stands regardless of our ability to hold up our end. In God's economy, He stretched out His arms on a cross just to show us how much He loves us. In God's economy, we are worth more than many sparrows, or anything else He created for that matter.

In God's economy, you are worth it.

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The Weepy Unchanged

Something's been bothering me for a while, and I think it's finally time to say it. I've been thinking about this for a while but haven't really been able to put it into ideological clarity until this week. As I was listening to my favorite pastor, Matt Chandler, he said something that solidified my subconscious stewing. He basically said, among other things, that a red flag should be raised when there is a lack of seriousness in the Christian's life about pursuing righteousness and hating sin.

Let me explain. I tend to have a lot of theologically deep, probing conversations with people in which they lay out how they're struggling with sin. Which I love. The family of Christ should be a place where believers share their struggles with each other, as James 5 talks about. But I feel like so many people walk away from those conversations never having a true conviction to do something about it. They honestly and sincerely confess to their struggles, but there seems to be little passion in chasing holiness and righteousness. I see weepy altar calls and unchanged lives. 

As I was scrolling my Facebook today, my good friend Nick Murray put it more clearly than I ever could have: 

Do we really want to be rid of darkness? Our error in the garden has extensively twisted this world. And we find our surroundings aesthetically pleasing. We think ourselves better artists than God. I argue that we like it dark. Or worse, gray. Letting light in, but only in certain places. If we didn't, we'd pray more.

We like it dark. We talk all the day long day about how we realize our brokenness, but make no efforts to bust out the hammer and fix it! And it's not only that we do not attack our sin, but we don't pursue the even higher calling of righteousness. Ephesians 5 points to an interesting concept:

"And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit..."

While most people would say, "Don't get drunk. It's bad for you," Jesus says, "Don't get drunk, but not only that, pursue my Holy Spirit!" In other words, don't just stop doing bad, but start doing good. Start serving in ministry. Do Kingdom work. Are you in the right place in your heart to serve in ministry? Nope. Neither am I. But the great thing about this whole "grace" deal is that He calls unworthy people to carry a worthy message to show the world that it's not about them.

What I'm saying is, start fighting against your sin and for righteousness. Pursue holiness. As my friend said to me, "Live in such a way that needs explanation." Make people wonder about why you're so different.

Do it. I dare you.

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A Most Bizarre Creature

There exists a creature so strange, scientists cannot comprehend it. However, it does not live in the wild, but in cities and highly-populated areas. Which is only fitting considering that it has no exoskeleton to protect itself, but has a highly permeable, weak, water-based, flammable, flexible, keratinized substance as an outer covering. One would think that it would be highly vulnerable to attack, but it in fact rests very highly on the food chain thanks to its highly-developed intellect.

Perhaps more strange than its outer composition are its behaviors. Often bizarre and illogical, these creatures, unlike many of the animal kingdom, mate for life. They most often proliferate by choosing one member of the opposite gender and reproducing within the construct of a concept called "marriage." Within this relationship, both members are expected to remain faithful to their partner alone. One would think that this inhibits the proliferation of this species because of their inability to spread their seed to multiple surrogates, but what they lack in numbers, they make up for in strong children, who get their strength from a well-unified marriage.

They cover themselves in what seem to be referred to as "clothes," because of a most peculiar shame over nakedness. Perhaps things were not always this way. They must eat at regular intervals, as all creatures do, but the strangeness of their eating habits is contained in the fact that, instead of eating what would lead to the survival of the species, they eat things that are incongruent with their health, and in excess. They sleep for exorbitant amounts of time, even past the time of the sun's rising. In fact, sometimes, they even stop in the middle of their daily activities to participate in a phenomenon called "napping." One can only wonder why these creatures enjoy sleep so much - perhaps they communicate with someone when they rest.

One of the defining aspects of this species is their preoccupation with joy and happiness. They pursue it to no end with routine activities like "sports," "drugs," "competitive beer-drinking," or regular sexual activity with multiple partners. They do all these things, and more, despite their negative effects on their emotional, physical, spiritual, and social well-being.

"They made a calf in Horeb and worshiped a metal image. They exchanged the glory of God for the image of an ox that eats grass." (Psalm 106)

For a species with such a highly-developed intellect, they seem to trade glory for garbage. They pursue negative things that will never satisfy their spiritual needs, even when it is clear that those things will never accomplish what they are looking for. This is perhaps most bizarre behavior of the Homo Sapiens species.

They walk in darkness when they could walk in The Light.

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Why, God? Why?

Why, God?

Why have the last few months of American history been a seemingly nonstop telling of bloodshed and brokenness?

Why, God?

Why do I seem to hurt only those whom I love most?

Why, God?

Why have I lived a life of abundance when millions lack the most basic of needs?

Why, God?

Why do I never seem to ever get it right?

Why, God?

Why do you bless me when I continue to slap you in the face with the way I live my life?

Why, God?

Why do some of my most important questions go unanswered?

Why, God?

Why do I feel like you're not filling my words when I talk to them?

Why, God?

Why am I so anemic in my faith?

Why, God?

Why did you create me with the very gifts that could easily lead to my destruction?

Why, God?

Why can't I come closer?

We serve a God Who isn't afraid of questions. Who isn't afraid of doubts. Who doesn't tremble at the idea that you might not trust Him very much at the moment. The only thing with these questions though, is that they should lead us to God, and not away from Him. They should lead us to pursue Him, not wallow in fear-filled doubt.

Sometimes, our "Why's?" won't be answered. Sometimes, He just gives us His presence instead of His textbook. And that's fine by me.

Turns out His presence is better than His answers.

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I Love You More

I had some pretty scary thoughts as a kid. I was scared to death of germs (and washed my hands constantly). I wondered if the totality of my life was just a televised event (Truman Show style). I always considered what would happen if one of my family members were to die before I saw them again.

I'm not too sure that these thoughts are all that normal. Maybe they are. I don't know. Shockingly, however, some good things came out of it. Before I left my family for any period of time, I would always say that I loved them with each farewell. Sure, sometimes I just did it because I had gotten in the habit of it. But, in response to this, my father and I would have conversations that looked like this:

1. Goodnight, Tati! Love you!

2. *chuckle* I love you more.

3. No, I love you more!

Now, repeat 2 and 3 for a few minutes, and you'll get the gist of what happened.

It was essentially a verbal assault of love, trying to convince me that he loved me more. If I were to ask my dad to show me how much he loved me, he'd probably stretch his hands as far apart as they would go. And, being the child I was, his arm-span would always be larger than mine, reflecting how much more he really loved his son.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son..." (John 3)

It was essentially a physical assault of love, trying to convince me that He loved me more. When I asked my Dad to show me how much He loved me, He stretched out his hands as far apart as they would go. And, being the sinner that I was, His arm-span would always be larger than mine, reflecting how much more He really loved His son.

In fact, He loved me so much, He stretched out His arms for 6 hours.

Sure, sometimes I tell Him I love Him out of habit, but the truth is that I don't have to worry about Him dying before I see Him again. Death will be the beginning of a very one-sided conversation on Who loved who more.

Turns out, it's Him.

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Stop Being a Youth Leader

I'm not a huge fan of "youth" stuff. Youth groups, youth books, youth bands, youth Bibles, youth this, and youth that. Whenever I read the word "youth" preceding a different word that is used to describe a certain type of genre, I'm almost immediately turned off.

"Why?"

Ok, first of all, please lower your voice. Mostly, whenever you hear about something that's been modified for youth, it simply means taking the adult version of that something and dumbing it down, making it cheesy, or slapping on some weird graphics that don't add any real substance to that something. In other words, it's just a worse version of the original.

"That's not true!"

Look, y'all are gonna need to learn to use your inside voices. Anyway, think about it. Youth Bibles are usually just ones that look "edgy" and have commentaries that use "relevant" lingo. (Don't even get me started on The Message Bible.) I have to precede this next one with telling everyone I've known in a youth band that I'm sorry and I love you. But please, if you're going to form a band for your church's youth group, dedicate your time and energy to it just as any other "normal" band would dedicate themselves to becoming great at what they do. Youth books usually have the same powerful messages delivered in their normal counterparts, but with a lesser vocabulary. Thanks, but I can read.

Probably the worst of all of these youth things are youth leaders. Theoretically, this is a great sounding idea: take a student who shows promising qualities of faith, encourage leadership potential, and disciple him. However, if my time in youth groups has been representative of youth group culture, youth leaders tend to end up being a "good" kid that's been in the youth group a long time. These people have no passion for Christ and other people, but they like the way "youth leader" rolls off the tongue. They are simply riding on the coattails of their youth pastors ministry, and they eventually fade away because they never really had a heart for a specific ministry.

"But thanks be to God, who put into the heart of Titus the same earnest care I have for you" (2 Cor. 8)

Titus. I'm not saying he was a youth, but here we have a guy who caught his own fire. Even though Paul already had a ministry to the Corinthians, Titus jumped in and also made it his own. Working with youth leaders that have no passion is an uphill battle. Trying to motivate them is impossible unless the Holy Spirit gives them a heart-cry for the students they minister to.

Titus didn't need anyone to motivate him. He didn't need anyone to come alongside him, constantly nudge him to do work, or have to continually persuade him with weekend retreats and revivals. He got passionate about the Corinthians and he served them.

My point?

If you're involved in some kind of ministry just because you got old enough, take some time and truly evaluate what you're doing. Find out what God's naturally made you passionate about, find out what work is already being done in that area, and jump in. Because almost nothing is worse than a bored leader.

Stop riding the coattails of man, but jump into the passion of God.

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Rotten Soul-Stink

I smelled really, really, really bad. I wouldn't be surprised if my odor garnered the attention of some local flies. As I sat there in one of my school's student-organized worship nights, I tried my best to stay an adequate distance from people so that they wouldn't think I was some crazed, wandering vagrant who believed that showers were the devil.

I had spent the three hours prior to this event longboarding at my local skate park with a bunch of guys from the longboarding club at my school. The sun was hot and there was more wetness on our shirts than we were drinking. Before coming out to skate, I thought to myself, "Self, you probably won't be there that long. You could go skate, take a shower, and make it back in time for the worship nights."

Well, let's just say I was right. Except for that one teeny-weeny part where I was actually wrong. Which was the whole "take a shower part."

So, considering the fact that I desperately wanted to check out what this whole worship night was about, I resigned myself to going without bathing. And as I stood there, (near the back of the room, where the smell would offend the least amount of people) I realized just how rank I truly was. I think it had to do with the fact that, since I was finally able to stand still for a few moments, my stench was finally able to catch up with me.

Then, it kinda hit me that my outer stench matched my inner soul-stink. Knowing all of the weaknesses and cycles of sin I was beginning to let creep in, it made sense. Knowing my recent failures at pleasing the Only One Who deserved being pleased, I faltered. So often, people look at me, with all of my writing, ministry involvement, and charisma, and they don't realize just how messed up I really am. How I consistently fail at doing the things I encourage others to accomplish. And so, I sat there wondering what God would do with this rusted-over, rotten, maggot-filled, good-for-nothing pump we call a heart.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (2 Cor. 12)

Earlier this week, I was listening to a sermon by Matt Chandler and he said, "People will always be more encouraged by your failures than by your successes." I guess it helps people to see that you're not different than any other shlub walking in weakness. They get to see that God uses anyone, regardless of their place in life.

"I think many of us try to escape from life when we are at the end of ourselves- ‘resting‘ through quiet times and attempting to get our hearts into a good place again so that we can go out and ‘do ministry’. But it seems to me that God doesn’t need us to be in a healthy spiritual state to use us for His kingdom. He wants us to offer ourselves exactly as we are- broken, weary, tired, frustrated, even angry- and trust that He is going to be the power working through us." (Annie Heathorn: The World Race)

I have little else to say other than this: God uses everyone. He even uses those with a rusted-over, rotten, maggot-filled, good-for-nothing heart. Which coincidentally ends up being everyone. He will pick up the fight when you finally realize that all your efforts to win are futile. Let God fight, and let God win.

I hear He tends to do that. Even with unwashed skaters.

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